Men, and blogging
Men, and blogging
I am putting my head on the chopping block here,but…
I have realized that men and blogging brings out something that may have otherwise been a “man code of conduct” that we women didn’t know about. Or maybe it is just me. I have never, before blogging, seen such rude offensive treatment of each other in the name of “good conversation” or “discussion”. I don’t see it among the women I know who blog, just the men. What gives the license to call people vulgar names and be downright mean in the name of sharing your opinions? I’m sure some will defer to “we’re only kidding” but I find it disgusting. Of course, you will prbably all say “you don’t have to read it”. Yes, that is true and if that makes you feel better about bashing each other, go right ahead. If you’ve always been this way, I guess I just wish I never knew.
July 14th, 2005 at 6:11 pm
My comments are often negative or at least of a dissenting opinion, but I don’t think I call people names. At least not people I’m talking to. I just like to argue, it’s fun and sharpens your intellect, and the subjects are usually important. It’s something to do since I’m not out hunting bears or whatever. I should be more positive though. Sorry for being a jerk.
July 14th, 2005 at 8:18 pm
WTF?
July 14th, 2005 at 10:35 pm
Even in your anonymity…i can probably figure out who you are. Some of you have thumbprints that are easy to spot.
July 15th, 2005 at 7:28 am
I think that alot of people like to spout off stuff in blogs, emails, IM’s, text messaging, etc. which they wouldn’t normally say face to face because, well…. because they aren’t face to face. They don’t want to take full responsibility for their words, probably because they KNOW they are inappropriate and possibly hurtful. I’ts very easy to explain. They are hypocrites. This fact is made even more obvious when they sign-in and vommit their trash “anonomysly”.
My “students edition” of the Thordike Dictionary says that a hypocrite is a person who “puts on a false appearance of goodness or religion.” Hmmmm. If you think about it. That means that the “real” person is the one who is spouting off vugarities and name calling, and the “fake” is the one you see when he/she is around children, at church gatherings, with his/her parents, etc. My suggestion is for these people to search their hearts. If they LOVE their blog personality so much, then they should bring it out and wear it where ever they are. BUT, if they see a problem with their blogging attitude and speech, then they should change it! Since I think that alot of your blogger friends claim to be Christians (little Christs!) I think the Bible is a good place to look when trying to make that decision.
2 Timothy 2:16 But avoid irreverent, empty speech, for this will produce an even greater measure of godlessness.
Collosians 4:6 our speech should always be gracious, seasoned with salt, so that you may know how you should answer each person.
Also if you do a search for the word “speech” in the Bible, you will find many in Proverbs which are pretty clear about how damaging our speech can be to others and to our testimony for Christ.
Hey, vulgar bloggers! It’s never too late to change. Stop the double standard. Be the kind of people that you want to teach your children to be. You can do it!
July 15th, 2005 at 8:03 pm
From what has been said so far on this, I don’t think it’s applying to me, but let me know if it is.
As for talking about things in blogs that you don’t normally talk about in person, I do actually do that, and think it’s good in some situations. Specifically when it comes to some of the political posts I write; I rarely (if ever) talk about those kind of things in person - not because I’m being hypocritical, but because I find that most people get all heated and emotional (and therefore irrational) when discussing some subjects, which doesn’t lead to productive conversation, whereas online you have time to process what has been said as well as think through what your response will be, instead of saying things “in the heat of the moment” in person that you may later regret.
As for being vulgar and calling people names, etc. I would completely agree with what you guys have said so far. I’m just curious who you are referring to.
July 16th, 2005 at 7:54 am
i have no idea who. i’m new to this. i was just giving my opinion on the practice of spouting off mean, nasty, critical, vulgar, suggestive, or otherwise inappropriate communication simply because they are able to hide behind the veil of the internet.
i’m not talking about the subject matter. i see no problem talking about whatever (although, judging from our conversation a few months ago, i think moms aren’t suposed to talk to their sons about viagra), especially if it’s for a constructive reason, but i bet those same people who get heated in person, are getting just as heated as they sit at their keyboard. you just don’t have to witness it. i guess that’s fine, but people can “say” things on the computer “in the heat of the moment” which are damaging hurtful just as well as in person. i think the same moderation should apply to both forms of communication. however, it’s true that even if i get up tight when i read something that i don’t agree with, it gives me time to think, and sometimes readjust my philosphy. just need to make sure i don’t react like a jerk in either situation, keeping in mind that there’s a 100% chance that i don’t know everything and there’s a very high probability that i’m wrong on alot of things that i do know about.
but about saying mean, vulgar, suggestive, etc. remarks… it’s the same on the keyboard as it is in person. it’s not right. it hurts relationships whether you can see the person or not. i’m assuming that a mojority of the people posing on a person’s blog know each other at some level. i’m not saying we can’t talk and listen honestly, i’m just saying if you are a pig behind the screen and a nice person face to face, that’s hypocricy. i’m also saying that being a big mouthed jerk is not a good thing.
as for you jared, i don’t think i’ve ever heard you say a mean thing in your life, vulgar or otherwise. (wll, maybe once) maybe you get wild when you sit at the computer, i don’t know.
July 18th, 2005 at 2:58 pm
while i didn’t post “wtf?” i do kinda agree with the sentiments. okay, so you’ve said we’re not allowed to be rude and countered every logical responce except, “it’s not me,” and, “sorry for whatever i’ve done, i won’t do it again.” thing is, i don’t see how you could expect to get the second responce without giving any specifics. we all make decisions to act based on what seems best at the time. the only way to avoid rude and offensive behavior is to know what that means to all people at all times; the only way to know that is to allow other people to speak that into their lives.
generally pointing out the problem is so frustrating to people like me. i don’t really want to offend, but i suspect i’m the one just because i naturally assume all guns pointed in the air are aimed at me.
sorry for whatever i’ve done, but unless you say more, i’ll do it again.
July 18th, 2005 at 4:11 pm
I guess I think that in general, you should evaluate…would you be comfortable with your children or other reading what you post? Will you be fine with your daughter/son saying WTF or calling others assholes? I am not citing this as the main example, but would you want her to listen to that South Park thing you posted? I’m not saying that all I say and do would be great for my kids to say or do, but I am always evaluating and have numerous times not commented or not posted becuase I know it’s not right. Maybe you and others need to think though posts more carefully. I don’t know what else to say.
July 18th, 2005 at 4:47 pm
hi! my name is ma ma j. this message is to dr. stryker. (just trying to be more specific) i think you are a great person. i think you care about people and love God. SO….
here is some very specific advice, dr. stryker.
IF
you call people names or act in a way that hurts, puts down or offends others, whether in person on in writing, i believe you, specifically dr. stryker, are wrong. i’m just trying to be specific.
IF,
dr. styker, you do not do these things, then what’s to worry about? no need to apologize.
the way to avoid offending people is quite simple. be nice. i think the people who are mean and nasty in their writings know that they are, and maybe they should just not get all bent up when the fact is pointed out. just quit doing it. sound simple? it is.
July 18th, 2005 at 9:03 pm
it makes me a little nervous that sam reads my blog, but i also know that michel reads my blog. i also let peter’s parents (probably not as directly as i should have) know that they should be monitoring his blog viewing if they want to screen him from certain real life situations. the south park thing was definitely too much and is widely available on the internet, so i have removed the post. it was mainly up there for a select group. i will post more of my personal thoughts on the matter on my blog later tonight…
July 18th, 2005 at 9:52 pm
thing is, what is offencive to some isn’t to others and vice versa. i’ve come to learn that whatever i have in me as far as that scale was harshly inadequate when dealing with most other people. so i have to rely on others to let me know when i’m being a jerk. it’s just not as simple as “don’t it” because i’m an idiot when it comes to this stuff. i seriously have something broken in me. i’m sorry. i said i would post on this tonight, but that’s not gonna happen because if i think anymore about it i’m gonna cry. i’m sorry…