Do you have a friend?

I watch the girls at school and am reminded of what it was like to have a friend who knew everything about you and you were practically inseparable from. I miss that. In the world of adulthood is that possible? Seems not.

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25 Responses to Do you have a friend?

  1. Nate says:

    Maybe if you’re a lesbian.

  2. martha says:

    ugh- you’re a goob.

  3. Dan says:

    That was awesome.

    I don’t think it’s possible anymore unless you work with the person or sacrifice a lot of time with your spouse.

  4. nstryker says:

    i thought that was the reason to get married…to have someone that knows everything about you. you’re lucky to have had that in school…i certainly didn’t (my own fault). aaron (nemesis) is the first close friend i ever had and i didn’t meet him til after high school. we talk all the time (mostly in email and on aim while i’m at work), but it’s impossible to be completely intimate with anyone except for lisa. i guess working with aaron on creative stuff all the time helps us stay close.

  5. nstryker says:

    oh, and cheesy christian answer: God should be your best friend!

  6. jenn says:

    I have my deepest and most intimite friendship with Brent. I do, however, have two amazing women who I am able to be totally myself with and feel loved and appreciated for who I am and what I have to offer. I can tell these two girls ANYTHING and never feel judged or compared, just listened to and loved. I can share my pie in the sky dreams and not feel foolish. I can share my evilest thoughts and know that they know I’m not evil. I know that they want the best for me and I for them. I feel really blessed and honored that they call me a friend. I am inspired by their transparency, creativity, sensitivity, drive, wisdom, thougtfulness, beauty and devotion to things that matter in life. I met these girls while at Westmont, it seems to me, that enviroment and time in our lives led to these deep friendships that have lasted and grew over the years. It probably didn’t hurt we met during raw periods of my life and they loved me wanted to develop a friendship with me despite my narcissism!!! Unfortunatley, neither of them live close by anymore. But I am driving to Tucson tonight to stay with one of them who is there on business. I’m so excited b/c this is the second time this year we have been in the same part of the country at the same time. In August we both “happened” to be in NYC at the same time too. Sorry for the Christanese, but God is good very good. (Sorry for the long comment. I’m passionate about these two people. I think I’m going to copy this and send it to them. Thanks for the getting me thinking and writing about them!!)

  7. lnstryker says:

    Sometimes, okay most of my life, I feel like I have found a girl friend whom I can and do trust fully and feel really close to, but almost always she has that with someone else. I don’t know that I have ever had a real friendship where both of us claim the same emotion towards one another.

  8. jenn says:

    Did a little more thinking about your post. What I was trying to say, in my earlier long ass comment, is that in my experience, adult friendships have been deeper and more intimate than childhood friendships. They have withstood more storms and are more weathered. My girlhood friendships, athough often innocent and passionate, were just as often fickle. More than once I came to school just to hear that my “best” friend who I was previously inseperatable was now best friends with “Suzy” and they were now inseperatable. And when we were close, we usually had less baggage making the friendship easier. My son has often come home saying “billy” who was his best friend, doesn’t want him on his team anymore. I dont’ know, I’m glad to have adult friendships. Although, there can be something sweet and beautifully innocent about childhood friendships to be appreciated.

  9. jenn says:

    I also wanted to say, that’s really cool you have fond memories your childhood friendships. And I’m glad we’re friends!!
    xoxo
    jenn

  10. martha says:

    I’m best of friends with my husband, but there is something about a girl-friend that is different and most guys don’t have it, or get it, or maybe even care. Jared isn’t really interested in waxing, and birth stories and the latest in VS underwear. (Well, maybe that last one, but not in the same way.) I wasn’t saying that I’m pining for a friend, I have great friends, I just remember passing notes and giggling and sleeping over and talking about boys and they are good memories.

  11. Randy says:

    I know what you mean Martha. I have 3 girlfriends that I am very intimate with. It is really an special thing to have those really strong female bonds in your life. I am actually going to spend the weekend with one of them down in Tijuana this weekend, and next weekend I am going to Vegas to spend some quality time with another one of them. The third one lives in Amsterdam, so I do not really get to see her too often, but I am actually closest to her out of the three. I think that one can achieve that same innocent giggly bond with a few attractive women as an adult that one can have as a kid. I know I have.

  12. martha says:

    You and your kind are poops!

  13. Randy says:

    I am assuming you are referring to the fact of me ruining a “serious” conversation. I really grappled with it myself, but decided that I must post my comment out of principle. If, however, you are referring to my “actions” described above, then I don’t get it.

    Being a man, I do not exactly feel where you are coming from with the whole friend thing. I guess if I mixed Jun with Andy then I might have what you are talking about, but then I would have to question my alignment. Besides, Jun’s dead.

    I think as adults, being much more complicated of beings than we are as children, it is not possible to re-create that childhood, or teen hood, best friend phenomenon. We have to find those things that we cherished in those friendships in multiple people.

    Kristi is by far the closest/best friend I have ever had, but there are things that sometimes I have to bounce of the brain of other people rather than her, and for those times I have a couple guys that fill in those gaps that Kristi just can’t take care of due to our relationship, i.e. married, and the fact that we are different genders.

  14. Kristen says:

    I know what your talking about Martha. There is a simplicity and innocents about childhood friendships that just can’t be duplicated in the adult world.

  15. martha says:

    No, I was just talking about you doing what you guys do best, make a joke out of stuff. I know you have friends. Here’s the thing about blogs, you get misunderstood all the time.

  16. Randy says:

    That is what I thought you meant. That is what I said in my first paragraph, just using differnet words.

  17. martha says:

    I think I get it now.

  18. mama jacquie says:

    I used to think I had a really good friend like that, but now I realize that I don’t. ;)

  19. martha says:

    Ok. We’re going shopping this weekend and to a girlie movie. You know how important you are to me. Don’t make me come over there…unless you want us to come over, that is. :)

  20. mama jacquie says:

    Ewwwww. Shopping and a movie? Sorry, I’m busy.

  21. Kristi says:

    My best girlfriend is Kristen Cornwell, who I have been best friends with since 6th grade. It started out as a childhood thing, where we shared secrets, made fun of people together, went to space camp together, and got in trouble by teachers and drill sargents together. Then, we began to evolve into young women, having remained close even though we were into different things (her swimming, me show choir), we vacationed together, and she was always there for me when my dad got diagnosed with cancer and when he died. Her house was like a second home for me. When we graduated high school and went to different colleges, we remained best friends, which continued on when I moved to california. Once year she flew out to visit me every 2 months- it was great! She was apart of my wedding, and pinned me at my nursing graduation (she’s also a nurse). We make sure that we see each other every time I’m in Indiana- even if it is a quick hug and “hi! bye!”. I am so glad and fortunate to say that I have her as a best girl friend. I thought things would change after Randy and I got married, but her and I remain close as ever.
    Randy, of course, is my confidant and best friend, partner, and so much more, but nobody will ever take Kristen’s place and her importance in my life. I love all my girlfriends deeply and can’t imagine life without all of you (Martha, Kristen, Jacquie)!
    Martha you should just change the title of this post to “Ode to friends”. Or “cheesy post about friends”. :-)

  22. mama jacquie says:

    Just one little comment on the serious side. I don’t think anyone should feel the need to apologize for saying “Jesus is my best friend” and “God is very good”. Both are excellent, wise and encouaging phrases, using the the English language efficiently.

  23. wang juan says:

    I come from China.my English very bad .I want find a friend help me. I can help she or he study Chinese.Thank you!

  24. martha says:

    Where are you?

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