When an invitation is sent to you, do you respond? Are you an non-responder? If so, why? What prevents you from checking yes or no on the evite? I’m curious.
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I respond immediately if the calendar is clear and I know it is something we will definitely go to. If I don’t know I usually leave it until later, when I have had a chance to talk to nathan. Frequently I forget to go back and mark the box, especially if it is no. We don’t usually show up unless we have RSVP’d yes
I’m often a non-responder; no good reason.
I always respond, it’s the right thing to do. And there’s a reason why most apps have the option for “tentative”, so you don’t have an excuse; other than being a jerk of course.
The problem with clicking “No” is that since most of these things (like e-vite) give you a place to enter a comment, you sometimes feel obligated to explain why you won’t be there.
You don’t just want to leave it as a “No” without a comment, because you never know how people will take things online – projecting all sorts of things into what they might think you mean, etc.
But then again, you also don’t want to make up some reason if you just don’t feel like going, and saying that could also be construed as rude.
Saying “tentative” if you really know you’re just not going is also not honest, so there’s that to consider. I usually just consider a non-answer as either “tentative” or “no”.
Whenever I’m dealing with an invite situation, I prefer to think of it as a “yes” is a “yes”, everything else is a “no”. The only exception would be if for some reason there is limited space / resources and you really need to know in advance how many people will be there, in which case it should be clearly indicated as “RSVP ONLY”, and the yes=yes, anything else=no rule can still apply.
That’s my two cents, anyway.
I’ll have to remember that. Only if everyone else would explain not replying means “no, and not I’m still thinking about it and I’ll reply at the last minute when you’ve already planned the event” or “no, I’m not interested. but don’t take it the wrong way”.
I was mentioning tentative more for the case when someone “doesn’t know yet”.
I still think it’s easier to just say “no” without an explanation. Because people project things no matter what, and IMO even more when someone just shuns your invite.
I would rather a “no” with no explanation, than nothing. At least I can project that at least they took a second to think about the fact that they don’t want to spend time with me, not sit wondering why they have so much disdain that they cannot even respond. (I’m sort of exaggerating, but only a little.)
I always RSVP and if it changes I let the person know ASAP. They put in a lot of effort for the event, the least we can do is RSVP!! Annoying!
Another thing people seemed entitled to is not communicating if they are going to be late. If you say you’re going to be there at 6, be there or call if you are going to be late!! How hard is that? Even a text would be nice!
I am a little too anal with this, I call if I am going to be even 10 minutes late. People, plan ahead!!
my annoyance is partly evites fault and of course the people guilty of the following behavior; evite shows when people have “viewed” their evite. Couldn’t these people put themselves down as a “maybe” if they need to check their calendar. Evite will send a reminder email BUT dang a RSVP at that point is a must! I hate “maybes” that go unresolved!! In addition, I really don’t care what the reason is for a “no” response BUT if there is one I think the following should be avoided:
“Have fun” at first glance it seems innocent but if you read in the context of a “no” RSVP it feels a little ugly. “Have fun (or at least try cause I’m not coming to your stupid event)”
“Gonna miss this one” this basically means they will miss them all.
“…” seriously I have gotten this one and have NO CLUE what it means.
there are others but I probably don’t need to muck up your only blog with them.